Thursday, November 29, 2007

Don't Think It's Happened Yet

Sorry I have not written anything recently. I just haven't been in the mood to write and I'm trying not to think about getting pregnant or obsess about it too much. I don't think anything happened this month because we went on vacation the week of my ovulation, which would have been perfect timing but my brother was with us as well so we had very limited opportunities to do anything.

We tried to "you know" on a couple of occasions but it was very distracting having my brother sleep in the next bed and trying to be super quiet (very awkward, believe me) so we sort of gave up, it just didn't feel right. Plus, we were in Vegas (one of my favorite places) and we were doing stuff non-stop during the day so by the time we got to our room early in the morning we were happy to go to sleep. I think I'm sort of trying to find excuses why I'm not getting pregnant, but this month I would have to really be pushing it to get enough action while being in the same room as my brother so mentally I gave up. My brother is going back home today so starting tomorrow it will be just me and my hubby in the adult department in our house.

I'm definitely going to miss my brother. We live far away from each other so I usually only see him for a a few weeks every year and it was nice to spend more time and do thing together once in a while. It was a difficult adjustment in the beginning, having a third adult living in our 3 -bedroom home, but by the end of his stay I got so used to having him near me that it will be empty when he leaves. The third bedroom will eventually become the nursery, since the other room is little man's room. He is flying back in a couple of hours; I couldn't even take him to the airport because I've been out of the office last week so I have tons of work, so I'm a little sad. Just trying not to think about it too much.

This also means no more excuses why I'm not getting pregnant and the pressure will be back full force next month because we should have plenty of time to "get busy". So I'm a little scared, I hate the waiting to ovulate and the pressure to be in the mood on those specific dates and then the waiting for symptoms and checking your body every second. I know that God will give me a baby when the right time comes but I can't help but wonder why is now not the right time, why do I have to wait for so long, why?

I was reading one of the gossipy magazines on our flight back from Vegas and it was full of celebrity babies and happy moms. And, of course, Britney with her big tummy and her short skirt (you can't take the trailer park out of the person no matter how much money they have - is she really pregnant again for a third time?). And Angelina, looking so happy - it's difficult to believe she was the same person who said she cuts herself and French-kissed her brother. She just glows talking about her baby.

By the way, if you ever go to Vegas, do NOT stay at the Caesars Palace!!! We had such a bad experience there. We've stayed at the Palace Tower there before and were pretty satisfied but this time we were put in the Forum Tower, which is just a shame for a hotel of this caliber. Our room was very old, the carpet had a lot of stains and everything smelled of mold. The water pressure was horrible and there wasn't even a desk to put my laptop on. When we complained, we were told that for the price we paid ($195/night) that was what we got. We could upgrade to the new tower (Augustus) but it was going to be $75/night more. No, thanks. Next time we will spend our money in another hotel - there are plenty of good ones around Vegas. It's just not worth paying fore the Caesars name, so overrated!